In the human experience, childhood trauma can create a challenging pattern that continues to affect us into adulthood. Trauma survivors often find themselves burdened with adult responsibilities long before they should ever have to face them. This burden isn't merely a phase; it can shape one's entire existence, altering the way they relate to the world and themselves.

The Early Shift: From Internal to External Focus
When children experience trauma, a fundamental shift occurs. Their focus moves from internal cues to their external environment. In a world that feels unsafe, these children develop survival strategies to navigate the chaos or harm they face at home. It becomes a way of life, a means to survive a tumultuous upbringing.

For many, this shift means stepping into roles they were never meant to play. They learn to function for others, putting their own needs aside to maintain a semblance of safety. It's a heartbreaking reality: children forced into people-pleasing roles, believing that keeping their caregivers "happy" will protect them from further harm. This isn't a conscious decision; it's an automatic response, an innate survival mechanism.

The Illusion of Control and Perfection
Children who grow up in traumatic environments often present an image of having it all together. They become the kids who seem mature beyond their years, the ones who adults say they never had to worry about. But this facade comes at a cost. These children are not their parents' peers, yet they are often expected to shoulder adult responsibilities.

This early burden of responsibility creates a ripple effect that follows them into adulthood. The need for perfection becomes ingrained, a constant drive to perform flawlessly to meet perceived expectations. This can manifest in various ways, such as an unhealthy relationship with food or body image, as individuals grasp for control in any area they can. The role of caretaker becomes second nature, leading to relational disturbances where personal needs are neglected in favor of others.

Navigating the Legacy of Trauma
The consequences of growing up too soon are profound. For those who had to act 'as if' to survive, the journey to healing can be long and complex. But acknowledging this struggle is a crucial first step.

Consider the phrase: I am allowed to feel joyful.

Directions: Say these words out loud to yourself or allow them to take up space inside of you. As you consider this phrase, you may find yourself having a reaction to the idea of joy. Let your mind, emotions, memories, or images associated with joy exist right alongside any sensations that are beginning to occur in your body. Consider how you might allow the idea of joy to exist so that you can begin to create space for joy to be a part of your life.

To those of you who had to grow up too fast, who had to caretake your caregivers, and who had to act 'as if' in order to survive, I see you. Your experiences are valid, and your journey toward healing is worthy. Understanding the impact of your past can open doors to reclaiming your authentic self and embracing a future filled with hope and possibility. Consider this affirmation to more deeply connect to your power and your body:

"I honor my journey and acknowledge the strength it took to survive. I am worthy of healing, and I choose to embrace my authentic self, free from the burdens of the past."

In acknowledging the weight of growing up too soon, we open the path to healing and transformation. Self-care is an essential element of our healing and transformation. Dear one, it's a journey that requires gentleness, open-heartedness, and the unwavering belief that change is possible.

Thank you for letting me see you,