Somatic Coping Skills

TLDR: The holidays bring shifts in routine, emotional intensity, and relational complexities that can activate your nervous system. Understanding your capacity and tending to your body can help you move through the season with more grounded care.

The holiday season often carries a reputation for joy, celebration, connection, and tradition. Yet the reality for many people is far more layered. Even when the season includes good moments or meaningful gatherings, the physical and emotional toll can feel heavier than expected. Many of the clients I work with describe the holidays as a time when their nervous system becomes louder, more reactive, or more easily overwhelmed, and it is not because they are failing. It is because the holidays ask more of the body than we often realize.

When you have lived through something traumatic, chronic stress, relational difficulty, or emotional neglect, your nervous system learns to stay alert. It becomes skilled at monitoring the environment, tracking cues of safety and threat, and preparing for what might come next. Holidays tend to increase the number of cues coming at you. More people, more noise, more movement, more decision making, more expectations, and more intensity can create a sense of overload, even when the context is warm or familiar.

This is why tending to your nervous system during the holidays is not only helpful, but essential.

The pressure to say yes to everything

One of the biggest contributors to holiday overwhelm is the pressure to do more than your system can comfortably handle. It is common to feel a pull toward attending every event, participating in every tradition, or showing up for every request. The mind may tell you that you should be able to manage it, and the heart may want to be part of it, but the body often gives a different message.

Your nervous system has limits, just like every other part of you. When you fill your schedule to the edges, there is no buffer left for rest or recovery. Over time, the buildup of stimulation can create activation, shutdown, or a mix of both. Many trauma survivors describe this as feeling flooded, foggy, dissociated, irritable, or overstretched. These reactions are not signs of weakness. They are signs that your nervous system is protecting you from overwhelm.

Part of holiday self-support is learning to honor your capacity instead of overriding it. That may mean committing to fewer events or choosing the experiences that feel most meaningful. It may mean giving yourself permission to enjoy something in the morning and rest in the evening. It may also mean recognizing that even if you want to attend everything, your body may need something different.

How sensory input affects the body

Holidays often include environments filled with sensory input. Loud conversations, crowded rooms, bright lights, unfamiliar spaces, or emotionally charged interactions can all increase the load on your nervous system. Many people do not notice how much their body is absorbing until they step outside and finally exhale.

Orienting to your environment can help you settle. Allowing your eyes to look around and land on something neutral or comforting helps your body shift from scanning for danger into noticing what is steady in the present moment. When your eyes find something that feels pleasant or grounding, your breath often follows. This simple practice communicates to your body that you are here, you are safe, and you can soften.

Breath as a way back to yourself

Breathwork is one of the gentlest tools for supporting your nervous system. During stressful or highly stimulating moments, many people unintentionally hold their breath or take short, shallow inhales. This can increase tension, heighten the sense of urgency, and create an internal experience of threat even when no danger is present.

A slow, intentional exhale helps invite your parasympathetic nervous system to step forward. Breathing in for four counts and exhaling for eight can support your body in shifting out of activation. This is not about forcing calmness. It is about giving your system a moment of ease so you can reconnect with what is happening inside you instead of losing yourself in the intensity around you.

The importance of transitions

People often overlook how many transitions happen during the holidays. You may move from one room to another, from one conversation to another, or from one part of the day into something completely different. Each transition creates a shift in attention, energy, and nervous system engagement.

Supporting yourself through these moments can be as simple as rolling your shoulders, softening your jaw, releasing your hands from a fist, or stretching your neck. You can also take a small walk or change your posture. These practices signal to your body that it can process the moment before stepping into the next one. This increases presence, clarity, and emotional capacity.

Why this matters

Supporting your nervous system during the holidays is not about avoiding connection or reducing your joy. It is about creating conditions in which you can actually experience the moments that matter without abandoning yourself. When your nervous system feels supported, you have more choice. You can sense when you need a pause. You can notice when you feel settled. You can participate with more presence instead of pushing yourself past your limits.

You deserve to enter and exit each moment with care. You deserve to experience the holidays from a place that honors your whole self, not just the parts that can keep going. When you tend to your nervous system, you create space for both meaning and rest, connection and capacity, celebration and grounding.

Dear one, your nervous system is doing everything it can to help you move through this season. Offering it support is not indulgent, it’s crucial.  You are allowed to create a holiday experience that supports your body, protects your energy, and keeps you connected to yourself.

Thank you for letting me see you,