The holidays can feel especially challenging for those of us carrying the weight of trauma. While this season often comes wrapped in expectations of joy and togetherness, it can also surface pain, triggers, and complex family dynamics. If this resonates with you, know you’re not alone—and you’re not failing in your healing journey. Let’s reframe what it means to move through this season with care, compassion, and agency.

Gentle Reminders for Challenging Moments

1. Healing isn’t linear. Feeling triggered around certain people or settings doesn’t mean you’re backtracking. Activation is a natural response—what matters most is how you respond to yourself in those moments.
2. Younger parts of you may show up. Engaging with family often stirs up feelings from our past. It makes sense if those younger, vulnerable parts feel especially present right now.
3. Boundaries are essential. This season is a powerful reminder of the boundaries you need—not just now, but all year long.
4. Not everyone will understand your healing. As you grow, others may resist or react to your changes. Their responses don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
5. You’re allowed to step away. You don’t have to engage in every conversation, attend every gathering, or uphold every tradition. Honor what feels right for you.

Practical Tips for Staying Grounded
When the weight of expectations, triggers, or old dynamics feels overwhelming, these grounding strategies can help:

• Bring a grounding item like a smooth stone, a fidget ring, or a small memento to hold onto when you feel activated.
• Plan your boundaries ahead of time. Decide what topics, people, or settings you will avoid and how you’ll handle them if they arise.
• Breathe mindfully. Inhale for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for eight. Repeating this simple practice can bring you back to the present.
• Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. Find 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste to help ground yourself in the moment.
• Have a safe connection ready. Whether it’s a friend at the event or someone to call afterward, let someone you trust know how they can support you.
• Create an escape plan. If things feel too overwhelming, give yourself permission to leave—no explanations required.

Resourcing for Emotional Support
Taking care of yourself might look like wrapping up in a cozy blanket, sipping tea from your favorite mug, or stepping outside for fresh air. These small acts of care remind your nervous system that safety is accessible, even in challenging moments.

Here are a few ideas to keep on hand:

• Soft textures like slippers, a favorite sweater, or a warm scarf.
• Connection with a pet, a houseplant, or even a soothing scent like lavender.
• Mindful movement such as walking in a garden or gently massaging your hands with lotion.

Honoring Your Autonomy
Above all, remember this: You are allowed to take up space and prioritize your needs.

• You decide who you spend your time with and who gets to touch you.
• You don’t have to tolerate harmful comments or behaviors.
• You’re allowed to redefine traditions—or let them go altogether.

This time of year doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s version of the holidays. The way you move through the season can change from year to year, just as you change and grow.

Holding Space for All Your Feelings
It’s okay to feel joy and grief, relief and anger, all at once. You are allowed to feel complex emotions without diminishing your progress. Healing means learning to hold all of it while remaining intact.

As you navigate this season, turn toward yourself with gentleness. Listen to what your inner self is asking for. And remember: You’re not alone. I see you, and I’m holding hope for you until you’re ready to carry it yourself.

Thank you for letting me see you,