It’s a painful feeling, when your needs aren’t met by someone you care about.

Maybe you’ve been holding it together, hoping your silence will be understood as a request for care. Maybe you’ve dropped hints, changed your tone, or withdrawn entirely, hoping they’d just know something was off. And when they don’t? The disappointment can feel heavy.

But here’s where it gets complex.

We can feel frustrated, hurt, and unseen and recognize that we never actually told the other person what we needed.

We can acknowledge how hard it is to speak our needs aloud and still want to be understood.

We can feel let down and hold space for the reality that mind-reading isn’t a fair expectation in adult relationships.

This is the both/and of being human.

Many of us weren’t taught how to name our needs. Maybe we learned that speaking up would result in punishment, dismissal, or shame. So we disconnected, first from our needs, and then from the words to express them.

Reclaiming your voice after that kind of disconnection is deep, vulnerable work. But it’s also profoundly healing.

Because here’s what I want you to know: you’re allowed to be upset when your needs aren’t met. And you’re also allowed to explore whether those needs were clearly shared.

Letting others in requires that we first show up for ourselves. And showing up for ourselves doesn’t mean perfection—it means honesty, accountability, and the ability to keep practicing, even when it’s hard.

So the next time you feel that wave of disappointment rise up, try asking:

• Did I let them know what I needed?
• Was I clear?
• Can I share how I feel in a way that honors both my hurt and my responsibility?

Dear one, this process can feel raw and overwhelming at times. But it’s also meaningful, and you’re not on this journey alone.

To everyone doing the work of learning to speak their truth, even shakily—I see you. You’re doing it. One small step at a time.

Thank you for letting me see you,