We will never make everyone happy, and we aren’t for everyone. Allow this concept to bring you comfort rather than fear.

For so many of us, external validation has been our compass. We’ve spent years scanning, assessing, adjusting—shaping ourselves around the needs, expectations, and perceptions of others. And when we’ve done that for long enough, it starts to feel like truth.

Who I am is how others receive me.
I’ll know I’m okay when the people around me are okay with me.

But what happens when we build our sense of self on such an unstable foundation? What happens when we spend our lives trying to be palatable, likable, and easy to receive?

The Moving Target of External Approval
If you’ve ever tried to make everyone happy, you already know how impossible it is. People will experience you through their own lens—shaped by their own wounds, beliefs, and expectations. Even if you’re showing up in the fullest, most congruent version of yourself, one person may find you inspiring while another feels intimidated. One may love your energy, while another feels overwhelmed by it.

You cannot shape-shift your way into belonging. True belonging requires you to be known as you, not as the version of yourself you think others will accept.

Healing is an Internal Process
When we stay externally focused, we don’t learn what truly grounds us. It may feel comfortable to seek approval—because it’s familiar—but comfort and healing aren’t always the same thing. Healing asks us to shift from defining ourselves through other people’s perceptions to knowing ourselves from within.

Instead of asking, How do they see me?
We ask, How do I experience myself?

Instead of waiting for external feedback, we build self-trust. We listen inwardly. We check in with ourselves instead of waiting for permission or reassurance.

And from this place, we begin to show up in a more congruent, steady way. Not because we’ve mastered self-confidence overnight, but because we’ve decided to orient to ourselves first—before shaping ourselves around the world’s expectations.

Trusting Yourself as the Foundation
When we learn to rely on ourselves, to turn toward ourselves when things feel uncertain, we start to see that change isn’t something to fear. We become the steady force in our own lives.

From this place, we can meet the world with more clarity, because we’re no longer reacting impulsively to our environment—we’re responding from a grounded place.

And that changes everything.

Thank you for letting me see you,